Tokyo Nights
Life In Tokyo - Neil Stalnaker
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Family

While taking my usual walk today, I realized that it's not living in Japan that is causing me to feel so much stress and pressure. It's the fact that I'm so far away from my family. Maybe I could fly back and see my parents, sister and my kids once a month. But, the fact is that I haven't been able to do that because of financial concerns up to this point. Growing up in the small mountain town of Elkins, West Virginia was great. All of my family was there. I was surrounded by incredible natural beauty. It was very safe. It was just a great way to grow up. I remember having Sunday dinners at my grandparents' house. A lot of aunts/uncles/cousins where there. I got to hear a lot of great stories. My grandfather was a master storyteller. He lived a helluva life. He's sitting at the head of the table in this photo. This was taken at a normal Sunday afternoon dinner. We usually had fried chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, homemade bread, salad, jello, sweet potatoes and many, many desserts. After dinner, everybody went into the living room. Everybody relaxed...we often watched the end of a football game and maybe Disney around 7 or 7:30pm and of course, I heard tons of stories. Then, it was time to go home and start thinking about getting ready to go to school the next day. It gave my life a center...something real...something that made me feel a little more secure in this world. I had support there. Life in the USA, as well as the rest of the world has changed so much in the past 30 years. I feel sorry for people that don't have that support system that I had coming up.


Yes, thats me sitting on the left-side of the table next to my little sister and Mom. My generation is kind of in between that "leave it to beaver" period and this "scattered everyone living in different states and/or countries" group. I feel torn. I'm living in another country. I almost have to live in a big city to make a living as a trumpet player but, I want to have that feeling I had when I was growing up near family. My parents are getting older. I'm missing out on my kids' lives. Nobody really comes here to visit mainly becuase of the distance. So, I have an empty feeling. I've been thinking that it is my attitude towards Japan. But, today I think it's not my attitude towards Japan at all. Maybe I'm just homesick......