Tokyo Nights
Life In Tokyo - Neil Stalnaker
]gray]coral]navy](],](]]]black],]1]1]1]1]1]1]2]9]3]1]1]1],](](]^23CCC])])]Tokyo^20Nights]Life^20In^20Tokyo^20-^20Neil^20Stalnaker],](],](](]black](](](]^23666](](](]^23333](](](],]50]20],](](]^23F6F6F6])])]black]1.5]15],](](]^23999])])]black]^23CCC])])]^23666]30]black]black],](](]^23333](],](]^23333]^23039]^2306C],](](]^23CCC])])],](](]^23EEE])])],](](]^23CCC])])],](]black]^23666]15]3]25]20]black],](](],](],](](],](]black](](](],](](](],]black](](](],](](]^23333](](](](](],]^2336F]^23333](],](]Written^20at^20^24TIME^20by^20^24AUTH.]20],](](]black])])]^23CCC])])]^23666]30]black]black],](](]^23333](],](]^23333]^23039]^2306C]Profile]]]^24PROFILE]]]Music^20Downloads]]]iTunes])phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum^3FplayListId^3D80900787]iTunes]Archive^20]]]^20^24ARCHIVE]^20]]Links]]]Neil^20Stalnaker^27s^20Official^20Website])www.neilstalnaker.com/index.html]Official^20Website]^20And^20Now^20The^20^22Bad^20News^22^20CD^20Official^20Website])www.andnowthebadnews.com/]Offiial^20Website]RSS^20Feeds]]]Official^20Website^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/neilstalnakersofficialwebsite]Official^20Website^20Rss]^20^22Bad^20News^22^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/andnowthebadnews]^22Bad^20News^22^20Rss]^20Tokyo^20Nights^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/tokyonights]Tokyo^20Nights^20Rss]Tokyo^20Days^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/tokyodaysvlog]Tokyo^20Days^20Rss]^20Tokyo^20Nights^20Podcast^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/tokyonightspodcasts]Tokyo^20Nights^20Podcasts^20Rss]^20Neil^20-^20YouTube^20Rss])feeds.feedburner.com/youtubevideosbyneilstalnaker007]Neil^20-^20YouTube^20Rss]^20Neil^20-^20blip.tv])feeds.feedburner.com/neilstalnaker007svideoblog]Neil^20-^20blip.tv]^20Tokyo^20Jazz])feeds.feedburner.com/tokyojazz]Tokyo^20Jazz]My^20Space])feeds.feedburner.com/neil-myspaceblog]My^20Space]Etc]]]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_psycho.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E]^24PSYCHO]PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_firefox.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22Get^20FireFox^21^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/]Get^20Firefox^21]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_xhtml.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22XHTML^20Validator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])validator.w3.org/check/referer]XHTML^20Validator^26^2361470^3BPsycHo}){kind=small}
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Connecting (4)
but....why the desire to connect soooo much after having cancer?
i have always been told that i'm a "loner". always off to myself. that's true.
after the doctors told me i had cancer, i sat down at home and made a list of the people that i felt a deep connection with. some of these people i hadn't talked to in many years. so, i called all of them. told them what was happening to me. it was really beautiful to have these conversations with all of the people that i felt that really deep connection with. although 1 bass player hung-up on me in the middle of the conversation. months later he told me it was just too much for him. he couldn't handle the "thing" i was giving him.
i connected with these people because i felt fear. i was afraid. deeply afraid of the cancer and of dying.
but, after 48 hours, i made a decision to fight. the doctors told me it wasnt going to be the operations or the radiation treatments. 80% was going to be my able to mentally fight this thing.
so...i started to form my team...my army...to do battle against the cancer. i found that the more i connected with people, the stronger and more confident and happy and secure i became.
and.....it caused me to "focus out" to others and their lives. we can "focus out" or we can "focus in". when we "focus out", we project good, positive energy ("ki" or "chi" in japan and china). when i "focus in" on myself, i tend to suck everyone's energy from them into me...cause i'm down and/or depressed or no confidence.
so...i've been on a never ending mission to connect with people since september 1991.
i have always been told that i'm a "loner". always off to myself. that's true.
after the doctors told me i had cancer, i sat down at home and made a list of the people that i felt a deep connection with. some of these people i hadn't talked to in many years. so, i called all of them. told them what was happening to me. it was really beautiful to have these conversations with all of the people that i felt that really deep connection with. although 1 bass player hung-up on me in the middle of the conversation. months later he told me it was just too much for him. he couldn't handle the "thing" i was giving him.
i connected with these people because i felt fear. i was afraid. deeply afraid of the cancer and of dying.
but, after 48 hours, i made a decision to fight. the doctors told me it wasnt going to be the operations or the radiation treatments. 80% was going to be my able to mentally fight this thing.
so...i started to form my team...my army...to do battle against the cancer. i found that the more i connected with people, the stronger and more confident and happy and secure i became.
and.....it caused me to "focus out" to others and their lives. we can "focus out" or we can "focus in". when we "focus out", we project good, positive energy ("ki" or "chi" in japan and china). when i "focus in" on myself, i tend to suck everyone's energy from them into me...cause i'm down and/or depressed or no confidence.
so...i've been on a never ending mission to connect with people since september 1991.
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